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Maybe you hear this at your house: “What kind of support do they have for the person who struggles to live with an ADHD person, or perhaps a whole house full of them?”
Well, CHADD of Northern California does understand. Sometimes the one without ADHD seems to be spending all of their days chasing around with doctors appointments for the kids, trying to convince the ADHD partner that they are not just a “charming Tom Sawyer” type and once again fetching the inexorably lost keys. At the same time, it seems like nobody else is concerned about the state of near chaos upon which the entire household teeters.
Then there is the partnering level. As if being in a relationship were not complicated enough, the impact of ADHD on a relationship can create myriad new misunderstandings and disappointed expectations.
- Did my partner really forget how important that was to me?
- Does my partner purposely drop the ball, knowing I will catch it?
Oh, and remember: Sometimes these relationships are dual-ADHD. That is, both partners have ADHD, though it typically manifests differently in each.
Folks with ADHD can bring wonderful qualities to a relationship, of course. You may not remember them right this minute, but they are there, really!
You may recognize that the adult with ADHD is not doing those things just to aggravate you. It only seems that way!
A good resource for individuals and couples is Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder, available through our own online bookstore.